Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
