Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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