Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
