You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
