Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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