I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
