I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
