love makes seman taste better
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
