Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
