i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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