My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
