No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
