just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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