yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
