Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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