I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
