Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
