do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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