im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
