As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So much rum. So many feels.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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