try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
