my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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