Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
