That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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