I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I am available for nakedness
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
