I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
