I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
