I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
