I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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