Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
