I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize