Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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