All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
