Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
