I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
