I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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