it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
