Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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