I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
