isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
