Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
