We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
