Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I currently don't understand fingers.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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