therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My breasts were aching with rage.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
