Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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