**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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