whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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