So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
