oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
