Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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