the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
