I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
