i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
