I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
