Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
