sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
