Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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