is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
